As human beings, we are born, we grow and we die. That's basically all about human life. Everything between these three stages is just an addition. No matter what happens between these stages, we must have been born, we must grow, and we must die. That's for sure, we must all grow, and we must all die. Between these three basic stages, we make chices and decisions that define our lives and legacies, and account for what we will be remembered for. It is for this reason that we see people 'work hard', and others just 'live the moment'. Some people choose to pile up wealth and material things, while others choose to pile up friends and personal relationships. Those who choose to pile up wealth are usually those who are 'ambitious'. Let me just make a disclaimer here: there is absolutely nothing wrong with being ambitious or having 'dreams' or 'goals'.
We often hear people, both young and old, talk about their dreams, and what they want to become in life.
I want to become a doctor.
I want to become an engineer.
I want to become a businessman.
I want to get married at 30.
I want to have four children.
I want to own a large company.
It goes on and on and on. And you know, no one can be blamed for having dreams, besides, we grew up around people who had dreams, so why shouldn't we do the same? Our parents have invested heavily in our education, so isn't it only right and fair that repay them by becoming succesful? Or, every other parent's child is setting goals and pursuing them, so isn't it only fair that our own parents' child (us) pursue our own dreams? The questions are numerous and varied.
There's only one question: 'Is there more to life than just becoming rich or succesful ?'. And another question that also comes to mind is 'What does it actually mean to be succesful?'. Our society has come to value people more on the basis of what they have and less on what they are. So nowadays, being good actually accounts for very little. It is like I always say, and some people always dispute, that 'Nowadays, being good has become old-fashioned and accunts for nothing. The good girls always end up with the bad bad guys, the jerks, and the good guys...well...the girls think they are boring ,and so they always end up heart-broken, and always settle for less.' This is a rather pessimistic view of life and boy-girl relationships, but at least it does indicate to a certain degree how irronic this life could be. And it thus highlight the realities of life.
So what is it that is actually important in life? Is it the money, or what is it actually? And why are we put into this world by the creator? The answer will be different depending on whom you ask.
We (in Cameroon) spend an average of 16 years in school before we finally get a university degree, and the expectation is that thereafter, we are to get a comfortable and well-paying job. But it doesn't always work out that way. Myself for example, I have s degree in accounting with honours, but no job...yet. So when things don't work out the way we desire, does it mean we have failed. When we do not get a 'white collar' job after decades of education, and in some cases, hundreds of thousands of dollars in tuition fees and allowances, does it mean we have failed?
For starters, not everybody is interested in the regular 8-to-5 job. And not everybody is interested in the suit-and-tie office job. Not everyone is at ease, answering 'Sir' to a big bellied grey haired man in an ugly suit. Not everyone is interested in going home so tired at night that they can't even sit up and watch a football (soccer) game.
In short, not everyone is interested in a conventional life. This is the life of a hypothetical 'regular guy' with a regular office job. He has just had his GCE Advanced Level Certificate, and gets into university. During his first and second years, he has may be two relationships that don't go anywhere. During his third year, he wants a 'serous relationship' because he thinks he is now mature, and needs a mature relationship because one never knows where it could lead to. He luckily lands a job in a company, and after three years or so, he decides it's time for him to start preparing to settle down. If he's still with his girlfriend of his university days, he decides it's time to see her parents officially. Two years after that, they are husband and wife and start having children. As he advances into his thirties, he builds a house and they move in. He starts gaining weight and starts growing old. In some decades, he's ripe for retirement and that...is it. Now, don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with the conventional life. There could only be something wrong if you settle for this kind of life when you could have more, when you could get more out of life.
Some people are totally comfortable with this kind of life, but others like me are not. This is a comfortable life, with potentially very few hurdles and a peaceful one too, some would way; but others like me would say it is a boring life, it is a life void of stimulation, it is an unchallenging life, it is a life with little motivation to become a better individual or to be different from the usual stereotype. Some people would look at such a description and scream: What happened to travelling?
What happened to adventure?
What happened to skydiving?
What happened to kayaking?
What happened to mountain climbing?
These are just the questions those who want a little bit of stimulation in life. Others would ask tougher questions
How did he know that girl was the right girl for him?
Does he even love this girl?
Did he just marry her because she was the most safe and
most available option?
Is he happy with that job?
Does he love what he does?
Has he tried to get knowledge in other fields?
The questions could go further and longer. It's not only with the guys, but also with the girls.
Did she just marry him because he was the most secure
option?
Does she really love him?
Is she afraid to attempt some career advancement?
The questions could be so many, but the answers, few and tough. Why do people setlle for less, why are people satisfied with the conventional life? Why do people refuse to get more and better out of life? Why do people adhere to the norms and cultures put in place by society? The answer may still be different depending on whom you ask.
Speaking for myself, I think the answers are simple. We as human beings are generally made to always try to fit into a particular group or society. And when that group or society sets standards, we are expected to adhere to them because if we don't we are either branded as 'rebels' or 'failures'. So the guy with a university degree who didn't get a job at a prestigious company is a failure because...he went to school so he could eventually get a job. The guy who refuses to be soaked up by a regular 8-to-5 job is a rebel because...there are people who would kill for that job, so why should he be different? We are afraid of 'social shaming', and that's why an older woman can't publicly date a younger gy in many societies. I do not mean that we should sacrifice our core values, morals or religious beliefs. I for one, I'm a christian, and I try my best to follow the laws of my religion, but I also try not to judge those who don't. And why does 'society' try to impose such laws on us? First of all, society is made up of a group of people, who individually have interests, whether financial or moral. So their son has a regular job somewhere, why should I want somethiung different or better, never...so they'll 'advice' my parents not to let me make such a 'big mistake'. That is how the society we live in is structured.
I guess the take home of this piece is intended to be the fact that we should all strive for the best and not let society decide for us. We shouldn't strive to be good, we should strive to be the best we can, even when it annoys some of the people who mean the most to us. Sometimes, they are just ignorant and need some enlightening. If you could be good, then you could get better. Good is never good enough, so why should you settle for it? I challenge us all to go out and become what we always wanted to become, even if it is an astronaut.
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